is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize