She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
