so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
