Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
