i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize