I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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