I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize