On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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