Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
