Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
