If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the condom got lost in my hair
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
