do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
