Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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