i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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