I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
