Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
