# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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