just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
