if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
