so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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