dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
