I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize