I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize