Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
