Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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