she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
