love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
