you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My breasts were aching with rage.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
