it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
