My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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