I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize