took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
