Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
