So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize