big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
