i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
