this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
