You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry about my life...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize