I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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