if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
