...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
