And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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