I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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