I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
