My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
