have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
