i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
