ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
