I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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