what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
