Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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