Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
