She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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