Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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