I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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