So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
