The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You pole danced in your parka.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize