nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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