what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
