I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
