What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
