Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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