I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
