I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
