I cockslap morals
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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