just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
